How to build a relationship
Nancy Anderson has the following to share about her new book and safeguarding your Christian marriage.
Q: Nancy thanks so much for your time and for this great book! You start off right away by introducing yourself as a "cheater". Why did you feel compelled to share your own experience of adultery in this book and how do you hope that this can help readers?
A: The reason I tell my story is to, hopefully, prevent it from becoming someone else's story. I am willing to say, Ive been to the other side of the fence and I can tell you that the grass is NOT greener. Its full of weeds and thornsits a lie. I want to tell couples that if they water their own marriages, they can grow a beautiful, healthy green relationship in their own backyard.
Q: Could you please briefly describe the six protective "hedges" we can build around our marriages to keep them intact and flourishing?
A: The H.E.D.G.E.S. are all action words, because we have to be proactive in our marriages, always rebuilding, remodeling, and reconnecting as life brings challenges that can divide us.
Hearing - Listening to your spouse is they key to unlocking their heart. People who have committed adultery often say, My wife/husband never listened to me - they never heard me.
The hearing ear and the seeing eye, the Lord has made both of them.
Encouraging - Experience the teamwork building power of a helping hand and a compliment. Focus on the positive qualities of your mate.
So then, let us aim for harmonyand try to build each other up.
Dating - Build a life that celebrates marriage. Have fun, laugh and play together.
Let your fountains be blessed. Rejoice with the wife (husband) of your youth.
Guarding - Establish safeguards for your relationship. Set clear boundaries, that neither of you should cross.
Above all else, guard your heart, for it affects everything you do.
Educating - Study your mate as if he or she was a textbook. Seek to understand and appreciate your mates unique qualities.
Dwell with your wife according to knowledge 1st
Satisfying - Meet each others needs. Ask your spouse what he or she needs from you, and then do those things.
You shall be like a well-watered
Q: What role should faith play in the marital union? Why is commitment to a Church family so integral?
A: When I had my affair, my husband and I were lukewarm Christians who were not attending church. That lack of accountability lead to my self-deceptive thinking. I didn't get Godly council and I took advice from non-Christians. I believed the worlds lie; You deserve to be happy, I sought feelings over truth and selfishness over self-control. I took God off the throne of my life and lived to please myself.
Now, with Christ as the foundation of our marriage and our church as our social and spiritual base, we stand firm and accountable to other Christians.
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